Ah yes, tis the season for so many wonderful things. But there are some less pleasant things too. 

Tis the season for:

Traffic – Seriously folks, is anyone staying home? Where did all this traffic come from? Tell you what, I’ll stay home. I just want to sit in those ridiculous orange chairs, that my mom picked from someone’s trash years ago and I inherited with my last house, and enjoy a fire. If only I didn’t coach and work and need to shop…

Cold – I love winter, but seriously! Year after year we jump from wonderful to frigid. Where do the weather averages come from? We never seem to be close. I can’t even imagine how you people that don’t like winter even handle the weather.

Snow – Can we hold off all that fun lake effect snow for Christmas? It just feels like it will all melt by then and we will have a brown, wet Christmas with black ice on the roads.

Sickness – As a school cafeteria worker, I feel a bit overexposed in this category. We probably see nearly every student in the school. Thanks for that wadded up, sweaty dollar bill. How about you skip the ice cream today and keep the dollar. Hello, hand sanitizer. And we wash our hands more than medical professionals. Oh, and what to give the lovely cafeteria worker in your life? Hand lotion. We can’t afford dry hands, because cracks let in germs. Wash, dry, lotion, repeat.

Buying – I, myself, have not joined in the buying craze just yet. It’s not full panic time yet, so I figure why start now?

Remote car starters – It’s literally the only thing on my Christmas list (hello Travis!!!). Coming out of dive practice at 9:30 every night into the blasting winter weather has convinced me that I really, really want a remote starter. I’m not sure why it took me so many years to ask for this gift. A warm car sounds almost as good as a warm fire and orange chairs. Hopefully the car is never part of the fire.

Car accidents – It’s not rocket science people, slow down. You’re making it unsafe for all of us. Wow! When did I start sounding like my parents?

So, there is my meager list. I will have to follow up with all the warm, wonderful things I love about Christmas. But we all enjoy a little Grinch. So there is my Grinchy list. Every day, I think that I could be sitting in my orange chairs in front of a fire. Maybe I will call in and spend an entire day in just that spot. You all will know where to find me.