I have been going to bed much earlier since I started teaching this school year. I am covering for a math teacher that is on medical leave. I am definitely rusty and I take more time than I should in planning out the day’s lessons, but I’m teaching. The other night, as I fell into bed early and exhausted, I could feel a single strand of hair blowing around my face just as I entered that magic zone between wakefulness and sleep. Determined to remain in the magic zone, I sleepily brushed my face with the back of my hand. And then I felt it!! Something was definitely crawling on my face! ON MY FACE!!!!! And I know that the sensory on that part of the body may be deceiving, but it felt like it was crawling into my ear. INTO MY EAR!!!!

The magic zone was gone!! I flew to a sitting position, screaming like someone was standing over me with a knife. I was slapping at the side of my face with alternating hands. In true form, Travis jumped up (yes, he is going to sleep earlier now, too) apparently looking for the man who MUST be standing over me with a knife, because why, oh why, would I be screaming like that otherwise. He immediately relaxed when no knife wielding man could be found. I, on the other hand, had felt the lump of whatever was crawling into my ear move to my hair, where I immediately lost it. One second, I felt the lump with one or both of my alternating, slapping hands, and then I couldn’t find it anymore. So, of course, I renewed my screaming, because clearly that would help.

At this point, Travis was on to me, and I could see, through my alternating, slapping hands, that he thought this was funny. Perhaps, it would have been funnier if he hadn’t been woken from a dead sleep, but he’s pretty good at taking humor as it comes. After all, he’s been married to me for 29 years. So, he’s chuckling. I’m screaming, “SHUT UP!! WHERE DID IT GO?” It’s not lost on me that I was screaming at him to shut up, while I was making all the noise. But, in my defense, he was chuckling as I battled some multi-legged creature that had tried to enter my brain cavity through my ear. 

When I was satisfied that it was no longer in my hair, I demanded that he help me find it in the bedding. At some point in the melee, Travis had turned a light on, so we hunted through the bedding. This was no easy task on our dark grey bedding. Eventually, we found a dead spider in our sheets! YUK! Travis immediately settled back under the covers to go back to sleep. I said, “You’re not going to flush it for me?” He replied, “You are clearly the superior anti-spider Jedi. I’ll leave the honor to you.” So, I had to dispose of the wayward spider. And while I recognize that the spider got the worst end of this deal, I will make the argument that he crossed over into my territory, and death was a necessity. 

On a side note, none of the kids at home at the time even came to check on us. Perhaps they would have come running if Travis was screaming!! Because then, there would have been a true emergency. They are a product of their environment. My poor kids. A round of counseling for all!

Have a great week everyone! May your beds remain spider-free!