The driveway is winning and I can’t even wave the white flag. As long as I live here, I must try to best the driveway. I haven’t worked out in two weeks because I have had to get up and shovel the driveway nearly everyday. In fact, today is the first day in a long time that we didn’t get a smattering of snow, so I can actually sit down and write a blog. I thought I would have to take a pass to shovel. Even a dusting of an inch renders the driveway impassable without hitting it with a shovel and salt. We have gone through at least eight 50 lb bags of salt (and probably more, but I can’t remember). And don’t talk to me about a snow blower. It almost pulled me down the driveway last winter, so I only use that on the flat top portion of the driveway. Shoveling is treacherous enough because you can feel your feet slipping with every step, threatening to let you swiftly slide into the street.
Last Sunday, I reasoned that there just wasn’t all that much snow on the driveway, so I could make it down without shoveling. I was wrong. I got partway down when Bert stopped responding to my demands that he turn left to follow the curve in the driveway. Bert gonna go where Bert gonna go. Gravity has a tremendous pull on big Bert, and a simple turning of the wheels was not enough to change the natural trajectory of gravity, even in 4WD low gear. So, big Bert rolled right through the berm of snow that I thought would steer us along the right side of the driveway. On Sunday, Bert was not open to suggestions from a mere snow berm. And so I started to slide off the side of the driveway. Fortunately, Bert stopped. I tried to let up on the brake to see if maybe Bert would turn left from a stop, with the snow berm for traction. Nope. After another failed try, it became clear that this method of turning would result with Bert and me stuck in the hilly trees that line our yard. Hmmm. What to do? So, I called Travis and Tayden, who were in the house, to save me. I knew better than to leave Bert and walk into the house, because the last time I did that, I found that Bert had slid, with his parking brake on, down the driveway and into the neighbors front yard, narrowly missing a utility box and our mailbox. So I stayed in Bert until they were outside. At least someone would know if Bert started to slide. Besides, at this point, I reasoned that Bert would end up colliding with a tree, never making it to the street. So, the boys saved me. We shoveled the drive, but by that point I was so late to read with my friend Sheila that we ended up rescheduling. Driveway takes the win!
On Monday, I came home from work and made it up the slightly snowy driveway. I had to return to school to coach, during the short two weeks at the end of the season that I actually get a normal coaching time after school, and not 7-9 pm. I made it out okay, so I figured that Tayden would make it back up okay in a half hour. A half hour of snowing can take its toll. Tayden is smarter than me and didn’t even try. He called me from the parking spots at our neighbors driveway, saying that he was leaving his car there. I urged him to at least make an attempt to go up, but it turns out he couldn’t even back out of the parking spot. Thank you fate for letting me know that Tayden shouldn’t try the driveway. I texted the neighbor, and he got Tayden out of the spot. Tayden and Travis parked that car at the neighboring retreat center and took Trav’s Subaru up the driveway, with some slippage. No way the ancient Acura would have made it. So, they cleared it and went back to pick up the poor Acura. I count this win for us, since nobody actually hurtled down the driveway and into the street.
This coming summer, we will be spending money on a driveway solution. Oh, and I have decided to name the driveway Rolex at my Dad’s suggestion. It’s tagline will be “Steep Regrets” at Alese’s suggestion. Hopefully, next winter, there will be NO blogs about cars racing down Rolex.
