A few weeks back, Travis was in dire need of a haircut. His hair was looking very mullet-like. We actually call it mulletude, like his hair has attitude. I was bugging him to get to a barber or stylist. Even my stylist said she could probably fit him in on relatively short notice, because guys are quicker cuts. At the time, he was repeatedly hinting that he was going to cut it himself. This always resulted in a resounding NO from Trent, Tayden, and me. During the Covid shut down, Travis cut his hair a couple times, and he always needed help with parts. Let’s just say that Travis can be a little rough with his instructions. 

I reminded Travis that we are responsible to spur the economy back to life by supporting our local barber. He retorted that there appeared to be a large number of people willing to spur the barber’s economy because there was an hour or more wait each time he tried to stop in for a haircut. Then, one quiet night, Travis finally had enough mulletude and we heard the undeniable sound of the clippers coming from the master bathroom. Trent promptly said, “I’m out!!!” And retreated to his bedroom. Tayden was already in his room, theoretically doing homework. Soon enough, Travis yelled, “Trent, come here!” No response. He followed up with, “Hey Jo!!” I began trudging towards the master bath. I should have taken a picture of his hair at that point. He can only cut the front without help, so he was really sporting mulletude.

Travis likes to cut his dry hair with clippers that have no guard. He combs his hair up, and runs the clippers along the comb. This allows for a large amount of error. Travis also likes his assistant to cut this way. I like a guard because I am not very good at cutting hair, and that prevents serious errors. This is a sampling of our conversation.

Travis: NO! Jo, you have to comb it up like this and trim.

Jo: That’s what I just did.

Travis: NO, YOU DIDN’T!

Jo: YES! I DID!

Travis: You’re not very good at this!

Jo: I told you that. I also told you to go to the barber. He’s pretty good at this. 

Travis: WHOA! THAT WAS WAY TOO MUCH!!

Jo: Yup. It was. Fortunately, you have enough hair to cover my mistakes. 

Travis: SERIOUSLY, JO! PAY ATTENTION!

Jo: SERIOUSLY TRAV! STOP TELLING ME THAT! MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST CUT IT YOURSELF!

And that’s how it went until his mulletude was adequately trimmed. It was exhausting. I write this now because he is looking a little shaggy again and he needs a trim. I am enlisting the assistance of the public. Please direct him to the barber. Or a stylist. Or a dog groomer. We’re currently working on our basement together. I don’t think a home cut is a good idea right now. 

Happy humpday everyone! Have a great week!