I always blamed my lack of sleep on being too busy. But it appears that that may not be the case. Let me provide an example of a couple nights ago. Travis and I split a bottle of red wine that evening, which means I had about two glasses of wine. This is important because I love red wine, but it gives me heartburn. Since Ranididine is no longer available, I must try to get by with Tums, which I consider far inferior. 

That night, feeling pretty good, Travis and I watched the news and went to bed. The rest of the house is running on Covid time, so we are the first to bed, which makes falling asleep a challenge. A couple hours into sleep, heartburn wakes me up, despite the Tums I took before bed. I try to erect a pillow pyramid to keep myself more upright in an attempt to go back to sleep. In the process, I wake Travis up. Eventually, I fall back to sleep, but am awakened by the insane, booming lightning. I cannot sleep well during wind or rain storms. I cannot be that “cozy under the cover safe in my house” person. Instead, I think about lightning hitting the house and how we didn’t properly prepare an emergency exit plan for this house. And is there a way to save the five cars in our driveway if the house gets hit by lightning? I wouldn’t want all the paperwork to replace the house and the cars. BOOM!!!! Man, I hope we don’t die or get hurt because I can’t imagine how I would move through life. BOOM!!! That one was really close! I can’t go through this insanity alone, so I hit Travis and say, “DID YOU HEAR HOW CLOSE THAT LAST ONE WAS??!!” He is the classic underreactor and replies with his standard, “What are you going to do about it in the middle of the night in your tank top and underwear?” BOOM! BOOM! I decide to get up and line up all the car keys for a completely rational escape from our burning house. I place them in order on the kitchen counter and try to go back to sleep, somehow satisfied that I have solved my problems. 

Eventually, the storm passes and I fall back to sleep. But an hour later, I am awakened by sharp pain in my right hip, which didn’t like the “pillow pyramid” sleeping position. This hip has had pain and flexibility issues for about a year. But in my family, when you go to the doctor for a hip issue, you end up with a hip replacement. So, in completely rational form, I refuse to go to the doctor for my hip. But at that moment, it hurt enough to wake me up. I removed the pillow pyramid because my heartburn was gone, awakening Travis in the process, and tried to get comfortable. No go! I get up to take medicine and hear music in the hall. So I proceeded up the stairs to discover that Taryn is playing sleeping music on her laptop, probably because she has inherited storm sleep issues from me. I can’t turn it off because I don’t have my glasses. In an attempt to keep the boys from hearing the music, which occasionally happens, I prop her door open a few inches, positioning the door stop bean bag to hold it closed. I have to leave it open in case a cat is in there. I go back to my room completely forgetting my medicine. After trying to get comfortable for a few minutes, I remember that I wanted to take medicine, so I get up to go to the kitchen. Travis asks if I am okay or if I plan to run a marathon in the house that night. I slug him in the arm and trudge to the kitchen to take my medicine. 

While in the kitchen, I decide to check on Tessa, who frequently sleeps on a chaise lounge in the sun room because she hates Taryn’s sleep music and Tessa keeps weird study hours. She is sleeping just fine. I move back to the kitchen and have an in depth internal debate. I like the Tylenol arthritis for hip pain, but I drank two glasses of wine the night before, so I don’t want to tax my liver, and Tylenol is more taxing on the liver. I can take Advil, but it doesn’t work as well on my hip. After a few minutes back and forth, I take the Advil and go back to bed. I think it is 4 or 5am. About 30 minutes later, my hip pain starts to dissipate, either from the Advil or in my head, so I fall asleep. 

So, I have trouble sleeping for a myriad of issues. Travis has trouble sleeping because he is trying to sleep next to me. And having these college kids home with their weird sleep habits is not helping me. So the seven of us trudge on in this one house. Have a safe and happy humpday!