My mom had a lot of catch phrases that she used with some regularity. Some of the friends we grew up with may even remember these. I really wish I could remember them all, but I will share a few with you.

• For the love of Pete. This was a catch-all phrase, which in current culture could be summed up with a simple wtf. It was used is she spilled hot pasta water on the floor, if a kid ran the car into the retaining wall, or if anyone simply scraped her hand. It was wonderfully versatile, which is definitely needed when swears aren’t readily available.

• Offer it up for the souls in purgatory. This phrase was used to get us to do something we didn’t want to do, which was pretty much anything that didn’t involve us running out the door to play. I was never clear how taking out the trash or dusting the living room would help the souls in purgatory. It became even more confusing when the Catholic Church decided that purgatory didn’t actually exist. What happened to all my offerings? Where did all the souls go that we thought were in purgatory?

• Run like the Dickens!! This phrase was most used while we sprinted out the door to catch the bus. Of course, I was personally on the receiving end of this many times. I needed to marry into the Haldeman family to fully understand Haldeman-time. I found a place where I fit in, always running late. But my childhood was filled with this funny phrase. All the Weizeorick siblings thought the Dickens were some amazing sprinting family. They probably lived next to the Dickeys, being that alphabetical order seemed to make as much sense as the mythical sprinting family.

• For crying out loud!! This was her phrase for extreme frustration, when “for the love of Pete” just wasn’t extreme enough. As I mentioned, slamming the car into the retaining wall, or even the garage door wasn’t extreme enough for this phrase. I can’t even remember when she employed this, but I sure recall hearing it, so I am sure I invoked it many times. I also remember that a washing machine overflowing all over the laundry room brought out this phrase. Someone had left something in the laundry sink, so it was backed up. For that, Mom brought out the big guns!!! For crying out loud!

• Wait until your father gets home!! This was big trouble. Mom was pretty harmless, but with Dad, we would be in big trouble. I don’t even remember why we were so afraid of Dad, but this was an effective, if rather empty, threat.

These were Mom’s swear replacements. For most of my life, I didn’t hear my parents swear. My brother Tom though shared a story where Dad tried to swear at someone over the phone, and his sons’ were interjecting to help him use the swears properly. I actually remember listening to this. I’m not sure Dad was impressed with his sons and their superior swearing abilities.

Phil shared another moment that I vaguely remember. It happened when there weren’t many kids left living at home. Mom was painting the inside of the house. Mom painted the house a lot. Anyway, as she climbed down the ladder, she stepped into the paint can, spilling it on the drop cloth. A very distinct “Sh*t” popped out of her mouth. As Phil stared at her in wonder, Mom looked him square in the eyes and said, “If you step in a can of paint, you are allowed to say sh*t.” Ten minutes later, she did the exact same thing. I must have walked in after that point, because all I remember is helping her clean up paint.

Next week is more Mom-isms. Hug your loved ones close, as I am reminded this month that life is a gift, not a guarantee. Happy yesterday birthday Mom!!