So, I know I am solidly middle aged. I’m okay with that. But these aches and pains are crazy. Let’s review my normal chronic aches. First, there’s the right hip. If you recall, I am avoiding the doctor right now because I am in denial, and people in my family that go to the doctor for hip pain end up with a hip replacement. I must not be in enough pain, because I am not up for that yet. It’s a bit like a toothache. I feel it more when I try to sleep. But not every night. My other chronic pain is my knees. Really, they are just a little tight. Since I gave up running a few years back, and took up spin, they are in better shape. My shoulders cause me grief sometimes when I play pickle ball or tennis, but they are mostly okay. 

The other day, I decided that we needed to embark on some projects in the backyard. I bought a huge holder for kayaks and canoes that needed to be assembled. In the process of moving the heavy boxes to the back yard, I noticed a completely dead tree in one possible location for the kayak holder. It wasn’t questionably dead. It was missing most of its bark with signs of borer activity. No, it wasn’t an ash tree. Let’s hope the emerald ash borer hasn’t moved to decimate another species of tree. 

Since I wasn’t trusting any of my kids with the chainsaw (even I am scared to use that thing), I sent Taryn, Tayden, and Zach hunting for an ax. Tessa and I started assembling things we needed to put together the kayak holder. It turns out that the kayak holder has a bunch of wood pegs formed in large pine logs that must fit into a receiving hold in the side of a different log. It all works fine, except when the hole isn’t big enough for the peg. The directions say to tap it with a mallet until it fits. TAP? There is no tap. Tessa and I took turns beating on various parts of this thing to try to get the pegs to fit. As it got more and more put together, one of us had to hold the awkward, partially assembled monstrosity while the other used all her strength to pound in a peg. On one swing, Tessa hit my right shoulder. Now, I’ve always known Tessa to be strong, but that one hit in the shoulder with a mallet confirmed it. I went down. She stopped swinging. By some cosmic mercy, she had actually hit her target before me, but it glanced off of it at a weird angle. If I had taken the full brunt of her swing, I would be in the hospital still today. So, we took a little break. I laid on the ground and she repeatedly apologized. I was forced to toughen up because she felt so bad. I read some reviews before buying this thing and a couple said that they had put it together in about an hour. I think they are liars. Or lumberjack mountain men that snap large trees with their bare hands. Whatever. It took us four hours. And Travis had to bring his three ton car jack for the last peg and hole. We wedged that thing between two trees and used that heavy car jack to force the peg into place. And I wasn’t much help moving anything because, well, the shoulder thing. 

So, Taryn did most the work chopping down the tree, because the boys lost interest and had homework. Tessa and I finally finished our project. I had some impressive bruises from that project, some of which I have no memory of getting. 

To close out the week in terms of pain, the day after the kayak holder project, my right foot started hurting at the ball of the foot. There was no impetus for the pain. It stayed around for a couple days. I was trying to work around that pain while working out with Tessa Monday morning, when I threw my back out. At one point I was laying on the floor wondering how this tiny sprite of a kid (despite her strength) was going to get me up off the floor of the work-out room, because I am not a tiny sprite of an adult. Fortunately, I recovered enough to move and took appropriate healing steps the rest of the day…and the next day. I am doing better today. I want a reboot button for my body though. What happened to that strong, reliable machine of yesteryear? 

Have a great week everyone! Stay away from swinging mallets.