First and foremost, I would like to thank Summer for finally making an appearance. Now if she could drop her sister, Endless Rain, over the ocean somewhere, I would greatly appreciate it. Endless Rain keeps bringing that unmentionable cousin, Flood Risk, around and we don’t appreciate it.

Moving on…every move brings an opportunity to meet the new neighbors. We are moving from a cul-de-sac to a busy road, so the immediate neighbors are that much more important because that’s all we have. We aren’t going to stand on the street socializing. I think the meeting of the left and right neighbors went well. Living next door to Don will be like living next to my father-in-law, Merle, so that should be interesting. Shortly after we met him, Don said, “Now Travis, I noticed Joanne was in the front yard pointing and I thought, ‘My poor man, she is pointing all over the place. I know what pointing means. Work. Pretend you don’t see her. RUN!’” So, Don and Travis should get on just fine. I haven’t yet met Marie (yes, we live next to Donnie and Marie), so we’ll see. On the other side is Marsha. She seems perfectly nice, so I am sure we will piss her off shortly.

The one we made a real impression on was Jennifer, across the street. We met her the day after Tessa’s graduation party, so let’s go back to that day. I think the party went well. Thanks to everyone for coming. We had three sets of bags going, yard Yahtzee, yard LRC, two giant Jenga, bocce ball, the ladder toss, and some game with beer bottles on sticks and Frisbees. I don’t know where half the games came from, but it was fun. And because we like to stand out a bit, we had a couch on the front yard. Tayden found that couch at a garage sale and wanted it as a gaming couch. He must have found Travis and me at a week moment because we let him get it. The nice sellers even delivered it to our house. At some point, a bean bag chair was added because the couch was lonely. Later in the party, the pickleball court got taped down on the cul-de-sac and a hotly competitive tournament ensued. Of course, the couch and beanbag chair were moved to the street for viewing…that’s where they really belonged anyway. Our neighbors on the cul-de-sac say that they will miss us, but I think they are just being nice. See, as it got darker, Travis and others constructed lights so that pickleball could continue well into the night. We’re those kind of neighbors.

After the party, there was tons of trash. We kept some in bags in the garage, but even still, the trash can was overflowing. I don’t like to leave the trashcan overflowing because Henry, the normally polite raccoon, and her babies will make a mess. If the can is normal, Henry climbs in, feeds her crew of five baby raccoons, and climbs out, without so much of a scrap left on the driveway. We’ve seen them. But Henry can’t help but spill if the bags are bulging out the top. But, I was tired, and thought Henry might skip our house that night (RIGHT), so I left it. So, in the morning, there was a mess, but not the type we usually get. Henry ripped into a bag, and one of those hefty alcohol bottles dropped out and shattered. There was blood everywhere and bloody raccoon hand prints. One of her babies must have gotten cut bad, so they left without eating. I was so sad. I hurt Henry and her babies. Normally, I am not sentimental about raccoons, but Henry is our wild pet. We don’t hurt her. And so, I came up with a plan. For some reason, we have two trash cans at the new house and only one at our soon-to-be-sold house. Let’s bring a can over. Perfect, except we let Taryn take the SUV to work, and Tessa had the next biggest car in Illinois for the day. That leaves Travis’ tiny Subaru Impresa. HMMMM. And that’s how we met the neighbor holding one of those giant trash bins outside our car, rolling it beside the car. Because that’s what normal people do.

Just as we are rolling out of our drive, there’s Jennifer. Of course, I wave wildly, while Travis rubs his head and says, “Jo, don’t! Maybe later. Just wave and let’s move on.” But you all know me. I’ll have none of that. So I jumped my unshowered, disheveled, cleaning up after a party in clothes I pulled from the hamper, self out of the car and walked across the street to introduce myself. Jennifer, in contrast, was perfectly coifed, with hair color to die for, dressed chic casual in wedge sandals and a silky black tank, heading out to run errands. I have never run errands looking like that in my life. I’m happy if I have a bra on. And, yes, a sweatshirt counts as a bra when running errands. And her fancy car didn’t look like she had been living and eating in it. HMMM, what be this interesting creature. I told her we would have her and her husband over after we fixed up the house. I’m sure her polite self couldn’t get out of there fast enough. So, we resumed rolling our trash can down the street beside the car, leaning out the car window with the hazards on. Yup, we’re your new neighbors. At least we haven’t put the couch and beanbag chair on the street yet. There’s time for that yet…