Fear Of Missing Stuff (FOMS) is the cousin of Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO). FOMS is the constant companion of the parent of the over-involved child. My over-involved child is Tessa. At every senior night for an activity, and we’ve had five so far, Tessa has the longest list of activities. Varsity soccer, varsity basketball, varsity diving, varsity tennis, marching band, pep band, peer tutor, peer mentor, National Honor Society, Team Green, Academic Honors, and a few more things I am forgetting. Other parents actually start to chuckle as her list is read at senior nights. Each of these activities takes time, and I am constantly worried that she is supposed to be somewhere. My FOMS is amplified because I work at the school. During the day, I hear things, and wonder if Tessa should be involved (not to add anything, but should be involved because it falls into one of her activities). I know she is 18 and it is not my responsibility to get her places anymore, but still, I worry. Adding significantly to my woes is the fact that I am at the school coaching in the evenings. The pool windows look directly into the grand hall, so I KNOW when things are happening. Just last night, I was hosting an off season practice, and there were nicely dressed students in the great hall. I actually called Tessa, who wasn’t at practice, to inquire as to whether she was supposed to be there. She doesn’t usually come to off season practices because, well, she doesn’t have time.

I am diligent about my calendar, making sure everything makes it on there, and that every phone is synced to the digital calendar. But I know I am a breath away from missing something important. Like I could forget that I signed up to bring dinner to the home tennis match tonight. It could happen. Children could starve without their hot dog and watermelon. I could miss a band concert. I could just completely forget. Of course, I ended up asking a student what was going on in the grand hall last night. Academic team was hosting an event, and the students were lingering in their down time. Of course, I had just talked to a teacher about academic team that day. She was wondering why Tessa isn’t on the team. UGH!!!

I cannot be the only one with this infliction. The side effects can be serious. Racing pulse, difficulty breathing, sweating, and sick stomach. All side effects are known to subside with a glass of wine. It’s like an almost nightly medicine. I keep telling myself that I ship her off to college in August, and I may actually miss all this stuff. I am not entirely convinced…of either….that the college day will come and that I will miss her activities. I am prepared to miss her, as I’ve shipped to college twice before, but I am not convinced that I will miss her stuff or my FOMS. Tayden is a much lower key type of kid. I anticipate a near cure to the FOMS. But you know what they say. If you want something done, ask a busy person. That person has to FIT it into the schedule, so she pays attention. I will probably miss something of Taydens because I won’t be as busy and will just forget. Great! FOMS is already back and Tessa hasn’t even graduated yet.