Travis and I ran away to Vegas for a few nights last week. Okay, we didn’t actually run away. We arranged for Megan (thanks Megan) to stay with our high schoolers, so we knew they were fed and they didn’t throw a wild mid-week party, then we flew to Vegas. Travis had a conference, which means I had lots of time. I have never been to Vegas, so I got to fully appreciate that I DON’T live in Vegas. I am quite thankful to live in the Midwest, even though it seems that I am here do to a coincidence of circumstance. Both my parents were from Philadelphia. They did the trek to the Midwest in the elusive quest for the best possible employment opportunities for a growing family. So here I am, and here my kids are.

Part of the reason I am so thankful to not live in Vegas is some of the things I saw in Vegas. Here is a short list of things a person can expect to experience in Vegas that she can’t see in Valpo.

I experienced barely dressed young girls (and it was cold when we were there) walking down the street with large feather contraptions on their backs and little else on. They were pandering to the moneyed middle aged men (and women) who might be willing to tip them to have a picture taken with them. In Vegas, a woman (at barely 18 years old) must only be required to cover her nipples and the front of her privates. Everything else is wide open. Never mind that it is 45 degrees out. Never mind that the guys taking pictures with the girls have daughters that age, and would never allow their daughter to dress like that.

I experienced nearly naked super heroes. I didn’t know that Batman, Superman, and some other unidentifiable super-duper heroes regularly ran around Vegas naked. I often wondered what they did in their down time. Who knew that they all liked to wander around in thongs and masks? I thought that maybe I would have a picture taken with Batman, but I wasn’t sure my kids would recognize this particular Batman outfit. And anyway, I wouldn’t know where to put my hands. I certainly can’t put my arm around him with all that skin. And it would look awkward to stand there with my arms at my sides. Perhaps it’s best to just avoid. I guess that’s why they call it the strip.

I experienced the constant stream of humanity. It never ended, no matter what time of day I went out. Where did all these people come from in the middle of the week in a random November? What are they doing there? It was like the Valpo popcorn festival (yes, it’s really a holiday), but it never stops. Oh, and there is no popcorn. Actually, there probably is popcorn, but I didn’t find any. Not that I was looking.

The traffic!!!! I am not sure if it’s slower to walk down the strip or drive down the strip. One night, we had to catch a show and realized that we couldn’t cover two miles in fifteen minutes, so we decided to catch a cab. Well, cabs don’t stop on the strip. Maybe it’s illegal. So we had to walk up to a resort, stand in line, and tip the cab-caller-guy to blow his whistle for the next cab to pull up so that we could get to our show. But we were only moving a little faster than the walkers. Ugh! We eventually made it.

I’m not sure if anything ever closes in Vegas. In Valpo, downtown is dead after nine on a weeknight and eleven on a weekend. I’m not sure anything is ever dead in Vegas. Well, except my feet. My feet were dead. Don’t go out in dress shoes in Vegas. By the second night, I resigned myself to my hot pink work out shoes. Oh well.

I got lost multiple times in our hotel. It has a whole town in it. And endless casinos. Or maybe it’s just one huge never-ending casino. When I had to meet my pink jeep tour (I took it without Travis because he had that work thing going on – someone has to pay for this trip), I ended up going outside the resort and walking around to the entrance that the jeep was picking me up at. It was a WAY longer walk, but I was so backward inside the place (the MGM), that it was just easier to find an exit and orient myself outside.

So enough on Vegas. I am thankful to be a Midwestern gal. And I am thankful for my friends and family. I am really living the life here. I don’t know if I’ll ever go to Vegas again. Although the shows are plentiful and fantastic, it’s still just not my thing. I am happy to just be home enjoying a fire and watching the November snow fall. That’s one show that Vegas doesn’t have.