So I was watching the news last night and saw that there is a significant skunk problem in the Chicagoland area. I could have told you that. We have lived in Indiana for two and one half years, and our dogs have never been skunked in our yard. At least, not in our yard in Indiana. While I was writing about my mom and growing up big (in a family with 12 kids) for the month of February, regular Haldeman life was going on, and I was not documenting it. Now is time to rectify that.

We spent a bit of time this last month going back to Illinois, visiting friends at home, in a bar, or wherever we needed to be. We went to visit Bee and Jeff, our former neighbors, good friends, and non-readers of the blog. I could take this opportunity to say anything about them, because they won’t likely read it. Hmmmm… Never mind, I’ve got nothing bad to say. We went back to partake of the annual Krupnikas and Kugelis Lithuanian festival. It’s actually a fundraiser for the Lithuanian scouts at the Lithuanian World Center. I have never developed a taste for Krupnikas, which is a honey flavored liquor. It tastes like honey cough syrup to me. I have, however, developed a taste for Kugelis. That is a delicious concoction of potatoes, butter, and bacon, topped with sour cream. Seriously, what’s not to like? We were going to stay at Bee and Jeff’s for one night, but found ourselves with extra time (something not likely to happen again with the start of tennis and golf), so we went for two nights. And I thought I would save some money and bring our two canine units with us instead of paying for boarding at the Ruff Luxury Inn.

As we wound up the end of Friday night, we let the dogs out, and Roscoe took off. That is never a good thing. It’s especially not a good thing because their property backs up to a creek that serves as a mini wild life refuge. Next comes the telltale yelp, followed by that smell. And my smell was actually working that evening, for reasons unknown, so I got the full effect of the smell, taste combo that is a skunk spray. And Roscoe comes bounding back like he’s just going to tuck himself into a cozy corner in the house for the evening. But what actually happens is Bee walks him around to the garage, while Tessa and I jump into the car to run to the store for supplies. The night worker at the local Jewel was really happy to see us walk in at 11:57pm. They close at midnight. And, of course, I have to explain since we are buying gallons of hydrogen peroxide, and a little tomato juice. Our recipe is hydrogen peroxide (lots of it), baking soda, and a little dawn dish soap. I bought the tomato juice in case my traditional concoction didn’t work. Even though the dog never made it into the house, I could smell the whiff of skunk smell on Tessa and my clothes. The night worker was actually really understanding and helped us find and carry our bounty to the checkout. He probably just wanted to help us get out of his store quicker, but he had a nice way of going about it.

After the purchase, we zipped back to the house to commence on the de-skunk effort. We could smell the skunk half a block away. I knew we were in trouble. Just having the dog in the attached garage smelled up the entire house. It hit us like a wall as we went in. Bee helped us stir up our concoction and we went into the garage. Tessa, Bee, and I embarked on an epic battle. If you are noticing the lack of male intervention, you would be correct. Perhaps I should include a photo of Jeff and Travis’ contribution…or lack of contribution. Both were snoring in the house. Travis was against bringing the dogs along on the trip, so this was his protest. Tayden wanted to help, but in an effort to limit exposure, I declined his help. We bathed poor Roscoe in the peroxide bath multiple times, and then shampooed him multiple times. It was difficult to tell if it was working, because the skunk smell was already permeating the entire house. And Roscoe slept in his crate in the garage that night, on bedding that was tossed out the next day. It’s called the “invite your friend over so you can declutter your linen closet” clean out. And the next day, we found a doggie-spa that ran him through the whole process again.

So, I guess that’s the thanks they get for having us over. Their house took longer to deskunk than the dog. We drove back home Sunday with Roscoe in the car and could only smell skunk because it lingered in our clothes. And Bee and Jeff’s house needed several days to air out. That’s the Haldeman way to say thanks for having us…and our canines. So, who’s next?