So here are a few funny things that happened to me this week.

•  I think my treadmill is trying to kill me. It says my intervals average a full minute more per mile than when I use my phone and run/walk outside. I keep trying to increase speed to match my outside intervals and I can’t. I think it is set wrong but have trouble accepting this. So, the treadmill is winning…for now.
• Don’t try to scratch your shin while on a treadmill. There is a chance that you pull off the emergency stop cord on your way down to your shin, the machine goes into a quick stop, and you ram your head into the control panel. Don’t ask why I know this. Some people shouldn’t own or use a treadmill.
• I went back to the official middle-aged Mom hair style that many, many middle-aged Moms use. I tried to avoid it for two years. That’s two years of bad hair. The Mom-do looks moderately good on me, and it’s easy. And so, it stays. Along with the bangs. Anyway, it turns out I am actually a middle-aged Mom, so it’s okay to look like one.
• Taryn’s floor in her dorm has had two (yes two) bats since she moved there in late August. Seriously, what’s with our family and bats? If I had known she was the problem, I would have moved her out a year earlier (okay, no I wouldn’t have…well, I’m not actually sure, Batgirl).
• There is another ground wasp nest. This time it's under our rolling recycle bin. It’s now officially a hazard to take out the recycling. It all appears normal until you open the lid. The motion officially warns them to send out the henchmen, sending the poor scab emptying the recycling into the bin scrambling for a safe place. Those wasps are fast!
• Large groups of the wasps collect during the day on the blacktop of our driveway. If you try to spray them, they don’t like that. Run Joanne, RUN!!!
• You know what sucks? When you do a complete litter change on two litter boxes and cinch the bag at the end of putting all that nastiness into it, and the air from the nasty-bag blasts you in the face. That sucks. Into the shower.
• We had a hummingbird in our garage a couple days ago. Seriously, what’s with the wildlife coming into our living dwellings? We spent nearly an hour as the Haldeman circus, with Tessa on top of Bert (the SUV of questionable origin – the bird stayed at the ceiling of our very tall garage) with gloves on and Travis trying to catch it with a net he made out of sticks and a sand toy bag. The rest of us just ran around yelling useless instructions. In case you need to know, hummingbirds follow light once it’s dark (which was a Bodeans concert later). Tessa and her friend Jason finally caught it that way and released a very exhausted hummingbird back into the wild.
• I frequently have one pair of glasses on my eyes and one on my head. Hey, you never know when you may need to lend out a pair of glasses. It’s more embarrassing when I ask where my glasses are when two are on my head. Wow! I’m just THAT smart!
• So now, at Sam’s club, they sell dog food in “Club Packs” because the 50 pound bag with five bonus pounds isn’t enough. Now you can have the 50 pound bag with seven bonus pounds of dog food heaven. Because, who doesn’t want to test their back moving that shifting 57 pound bag of kibble? And how are we supposed to get that under the cart where it must share space with the 40 pack of water. Lord knows there isn’t enough space in the top of the cart with the 80 pack of toilet paper and 30 rolls of paper towels. Ugh!

So that’s the skinny on humpday this week. Hope all is well in your orbit.