We all have a tribe. I sometimes wonder if we have a limit to the number of people that can truly be in our tribe. If the constrictions of time and location are just too much to maintain too many friendships. For me, I sometimes feel a bit socially stunted. I am mostly good at getting along with people, but have limited friends that I spend a lot of time with. My immediate and extended family and a few close friends are my people. I want to have a wider group of friends that I spend time with, but time is fleeting and short. There just isn’t enough to go around. And I was blessed with a fantastic family. I cannot imagine my life without my huge, bustling group of siblings and my active pack that I’ve created with Travis. But I find it’s easy to fill my time with them and not branch out. 

I recently had a conversation with a friend that was in Napa with a group of nine adults. I am not sure I know nine adults outside of my family that would want me to vacation with them. I was in awe of this grouping. I see it all the time on facebook and can only relate because I vacation with my sisters (my girls group), my family, or Trav’s family. When does a friendship make the leap to “vacation friends?” I have gone on trips with a couple of friends through the years, but that is the exception rather than the rule. Many times, it includes a sibling. Usually, I am the interloper in a group of friends that had room for another person, so I got invited. 

I sometimes wonder if more people relate to this feeling than let on. We struggle to figure out our place on this planet. Are we doing things right? Are we contributing? Do we make other people happy? Are we happy? This has been playing with my head for some time. I blame the extended bad weather. But maybe you need to know that other people feel this way. Maybe today I let you know that you are not alone. I wonder all the time what I am doing wrong… who I may be hurting inadvertently. If I were suddenly gone, would people have nice things to say? Would they have anything to say? I promise that I am fine. I am open about it when I am not fine, because I am open about just about everything. But am I noticing who is not fine while I busy myself with the task of living?

So today, I have no funny antidotes. But I will say that I am sorry if I haven’t reached out. Haven’t called to grab a drink. Haven’t offered a helping hand when clearly I should. Perhaps we are all drowning a little. I look forward to next week when the weather clears up! We can all use the outside time and a little vitamin D from the sun!

Stay strong friends! Summer is on the way! I’ve included a few pictures from my family Easter, the tribe I was so lucky to be born into. (Some photos are of the annual game of knock out, which stretches from my brother’s yard into his neighbor’s yard. )