For those of you that don’t know, I am now offering remediation to students that have fallen behind in math. The math teacher that I was covering for returned from medical leave in January, so I have moved over to this position. I work mostly in the high school, but go to the middle school two afternoons a week. Last Thursday, I was at the middle school. 

On that Thursday, we were playing an educational game on their chrome books. In this particular game, they are allowed to pick a name for themselves. Most of the students use a version of their own name, so I can usually tell who the player is. I emphasize that I must be able to recognize who they are because the top three in each game win a piece of candy. If the class as a whole gets over 80%, the whole class wins a piece of candy, with the top three getting two. I keep an eye on the sign-ups so I can make sure I recognize which name is attached to which player. Sometimes, when they use a funny name, I have to ask who it is. I must have been slow last Thursday while I was with the seventh graders, because I missed a biggie!

Allow me to emphasize that I roll the name around in my head before I ask who it represents. That’s why I don’t understand why I said, “Who is Conall Ingus?” Oh yes, I did! It wasn’t quite that close to the actual word as I put down here, but it was close enough that when I said it outloud, I recognized exactly what I had just said! One student proudly raised his hand. Half the class erupted in a mixture of laughter and shock, while the other half looked confused. Since the student readily offered himself up, I said, “And now you get to go tell the Principal your new name. Hope it’s just as much fun in the office. And pack up your stuff. You won’t be returning to my class today.” 

Truth is, I was a little impressed with his gumption and creativity. He got me while I was comfortable and not paying enough attention. He twisted it around enough that I didn’t see the correlation until I said it out loud and could actually hear it. When I replayed the story for Travis, he asked if I high-fived the kid on the way out. Of course, Travis doesn’t work with seventh graders, and that kind of topic could legitimately come up in his regular workday. If I wanted to keep any control of the situation, I had to stay serious. No smile! No Laugh! And definitely no high-five!

I still had to call the office and relay why the student was going to the office. They needed me to tell them the name that the student used, in case he wouldn’t say it out loud (and he wouldn’t). Apparently, all that bravado does not extend to saying a sexual name out loud to the principal and the office staff. My problem was that I couldn’t say it AGAIN in front of the class. I also couldn’t use work email for such a word, because it may get blocked. I ended up texting it to the middle school secretary. I could hear her stifle a chuckle. But she wasn’t sitting in front of a room full of seventh graders that want to see what they can get away with in the future. I had to keep a stern look on my face, as I pictured all those Simpsons episodes where Bart calls the bar and gets Moe to say all kinds of things disguised as names. 

So, that’s my story from last week. I am sure that the half of the class that didn’t know what it was quickly found out after class let out. So, I suppose it was educational, if not in the way I intended. We all learned something that day. Have a great week everyone!